The Grass is Greener. The Blues are Bluer.
The Grass is Greener. The Blues are Bluer. is the eighth episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 11 and the 233rd episode overall. It aired on August 12, 2013. Characters Red Team *Grif *Simmons *Sarge Blue Team *Tucker *Caboose *Freckles *Washington (Mentioned only) Plot At Blue base, Caboose and Tucker perform their exercise routines, with Caboose showing Freckles how to perform a squat. In the nearby distance, Grif and Simmons eventually arrive at Blue base and recon on the Blues' actions. They both quickly realize, however, that the Blues aren't doing anything suspicious and conclude that their recon is a waste of time, with Grif mentioning that watching the Blues exercise is weird. Grif then suggests they simply talk to them, but Simmons brings up the fact that Freckles may try to kill them. Unfortunately, the two are discovered by Tucker, who tells them that it's weird that they're watching him and Caboose exercise. Simmons explains to Tucker that Sarge made him and Grif spy on them in order to know what they're up to, though Tucker informs them that all he and Caboose do is train and perform chores. Tucker also mentions an organizational chart Wash has, which makes Simmons very interested. After Tucker leaves, Simmons then decides to stay at Blue base for a few days, in order to experience Wash's training methods. Grif, in turn, gives Simmons some advice if Freckles should attack, before heading back to Red base. Meanwhile, Caboose plays fetch with Freckles and throws a ball that lands near Simmons. Freckles fires at ball as a result, nearly killing Simmons. Transcript Freckles and Caboose are seen standing next to each other. Caboose squats down. Caboose: 'No, Freckles, no, Freckles, go down. Like this! ''Freckles and Caboose both squat down. 'Caboose: '''Yes, that's a good Freckles! Yes, yes. Tucker! Tucker did you see that!? Freckles did a squat! ''Tucker does squats in the foreground. '''Tucker: Great. Now teach him to fetch, and then throw a stick off a cliff. Caboose: 'Oh, he knows how to fetch. Freckles! Freckles, get the ball! ''Caboose throws a ball. 'Freckles: '''Acquiring target. ''Freckles aims for and shoots the ball. 'Caboose: '''Uhm, see that - that was just - that was just poor phrasing on my part. Really. I mean I was just, I think I was just grammatically... It was grammatically incorrect. So... ''Grif and Simmons creep up behind a rock to spy on the Blues. '''Grif: '''Alright, we made it! '''Simmons: Yeah. So, uh, what do we do now? Grif: '''I guess we just... watch 'em? '''Simmons: So... this is a waste of time right. I mean they're not actually plotting anything. Grif: '''I don't know, man, but watching two dudes exercise is making me feel really weird. '''Simmons: '''Ugh, this isn't getting us anywhere. '''Grif: '''Well, then why don't you just ask them what they're up to? '''Simmons: '''What? And blow our cover!? '''Grif: '''What do we look like? Seal Team Six? Who gives a shit, dude? You already said they're not up to anything. '''Simmons: '''But what about the robot? '''Grif: '''Oh yeah... '''Simmons: '''See? We need to strategize. '''Grif: '''Okay, fine, how do we want to do this? '''Simmons: '''Oh! We could do like a sort of good cop/bad cop thing. '''Grif: What if we act casual? Like we're just shootin' the shit or something? 'Simmons: '''Maybe, if we go in, guns blazing, we can intimidate them into giving us what we want. '''Grif: '''Wait... what do we want? '''Simmons: '... I don't know. Tucker appears beside the two crouching Reds. 'Tucker: '''Hey! '''Simmons: '''Gah! '''Tucker: '''What are you doing? '''Simmons: '''Alright! Listen, Tucker! I'm willing to hear you out, but my partner is crazy! I can't hold him back! '''Tucker: '''What? '''Simmons: '''I mean, hey, what's up? How's the weather? No, wait, I mean, tell me what you know! ''Simmons cocks his gun and points it at Tucke''r '''Simmons: '''I'm sorry... '''Grif: '''That's some solid detective work there, Officer Simmons. '''Tucker: '''Yeahhh, so if you guys could not watch us work out, that'd be great, 'cause it's a little weird '''Grif: '''It's really weird! '''Simmons: '''Sarge ordered us to come spy on you. He think's you're up to something! '''Tucker: '''Dude, the only thing I've done today is exercise. '''Grif: '''Sigh, you poor tortured soul. '''Simmons: '''What are you training for? '''Tucker: '''Fuck if I know! Every day it's the same thing. Wake up, run drills, clean the base, run drills, maintain order, run drills. I have glamorous calves and a miserable fucking life! Can we please stop running drills!? '''Grif: '''I had calves once... Way more tender than a regular cow. You can taste the youth. '''Simmons: '''Wash makes you clean the base? '''Tucker: '''And our equipment, and our vehicles. The guy's obsessed with rules and order! '''Grif: '''Ew, could you imagine having to deal with someone like that? '''Simmons: '''Rules and order... '''Tucker: '''I know, right? He's even got an "organizational chart". '''Simmons: '''Ahhh. '''Grif: '''Pssh, what a loser. '''Simmons: '''Uhh... Yeah hmmm, well uh, that all sounds very interesting. Tucker, but I think I need to see this for myself. '''Tucker: '''What? '''Grif: '''What? '''Simmons: '''Oh, you know... I just want to make sure his story checks out. Inspect the base and stick around for a few days. '''Grif: '''Checks out? What are you going to find inside that we can't already see? The thing is completely exposed! It's empty! It's clean, dude! '''Simmons: '''Ahh, clean... '''Tucker: '''Are you sure you want to hang around? Wash might make you run his obstacle course or something. '''Grif: '''Yeah, Sarge made us do that too. ''Flashback to Grif and Sarge at the obstacle course with Grif at the starting line and Sarge holding a pistol. 'Sarge: '''On your mark, get set... '''Grif: '''This is such bullsh- ''Sarge switches to his shotgun and shoots Grif. 'Grif: '''O-how Why? '''Sarge: '''New record. ''Bell rings, cut back to Grif, Simmons, and Tucker. 'Grif: '''Sometimes when I sneeze, buckshot comes out. '''Simmons: '''Look, lemme just hang out for a few days! I'll be cool. I swear! '''Grif: '''Don't lie to the man's face. '''Tucker: '''Whatever, dude. Just remember, I warned you. ''Tucker walks off. 'Simmons: '''Well, Grif, I guess this is goodbye. '''Grif: '''Wait, how long are you planning on being gone? '''Simmons: '''Until the job's done, I guess. '''Grif: '''And you're sure you'd rather be near the Blues and their giant killer fucking robot, instead of just coming back to base? ''Flashback to Simmons standing at Red Base. Grif walks in. 'Grif: '''Hey, I think I broke the urinal in the laundry room. '''Simmons: '''We don't have a urinal in the laundry room. '''Grif: '''Oh... ''Grif walks back off. End flashback. 'Simmons: '''Yes. I'm sure. '''Grif: '''Whatever, your funeral. Just remember, if a robot ever corners you, just stick him with a magnet. '''Simmons: '''Computers haven't been affected by magnets since the 20th century! '''Grif: '''Which is exactly what they want you to think. ''Grif walks off. 'Simmons: '''Ahhh... Finally... A place I can call home. ''Cut to Caboose and Freckles. 'Caboose: '''Alright, Freckles... Fetch! ''Caboose throws a ball, which lands near Simmons. The screen fades to black. 'Simmons: '''Hey, Caboose! You dropped your ball! '''Freckles: '''Acquiring target. ''Sound of gunfire and explosions. '''Simmons: '''Ahhh! What did I do? '''Caboose: '''Uh, yeah, sorry, yeah, we're still working on that one! ...Can we have our ball back? '''Simmons: '''I can't. Sarge says I throw like a girl. Gallery Simmons with Battle Rifle.png Simmons looks at ball.png Trivia *Simmons staying with Blue Team is a reference to when he previously joined them during Season 4. *Grif's comment on Sarge's "training course" is similar to Tucker's comment on Washington's training course in Heavy Mettle. Video Category:Season 11 Category:Episodes